Happy Shannakuh, A Gift Buying Guide

This shirt is probably the most accurate shirt-form representation of who I am as a person. Except not really, because a couple weeks back I ordered a Ron Swanson "pyramid of greatness" t-shirt off the NBC website. I've got that waiting for me at home and I am stoked for it. So that might be the most accurate representation... well, eh, another codicil: If I were a shirt, I would probably just be any shirt that is a button-down or a plaid shirt (I just counted 10 such shirts hanging in my closet, meaning my button-downs outnumber my "going out" dresses by a slight margin of 10:0)... anyway, this shirt is obnoxious and I am in complete agreement with it. All I want is everything that I want, is that so much to ask for in life?

That said, here is a list of stuff I would buy and/or would love to be gifted to me.

1. Frye Harlow Strap boots, $360, frye.com

Pffft, I totally do not have 360 bucks to blow on boots. Yes, I have two "jobs" but that money goes towards fat sandwiches (the last one I bought was the "fat drunk" from Gio's: cheese steak, mozzarella sticks, chicken fingers, fries, honey mustard, BBQ sauce) and $5 happy hour cocktails at Clydz. So about once a week I go online and look at these boots and just imagine a montage of the next ten years of my life, me wearing these boots and clubbing in every metropolitan city of the world. I don't even wear heels ever, but these call to me in my sleep and waking hours and semi-waking, hours telling me "Shan, how hawt would you been in these boots? (*my inner voice has never actually been known to say "Shan, you look hawt") And how tall slightly closer to average-height would you be? And how worth it would the pain be?" I have basically never seen more perfect boots in my life and that said, I should probably just shut up and start saving money in a piggy bank. 

2. "An Illustrated Guide to Cocktails", shwaaat!, $16 + shipping, anthropologie.com

Actually I super need this book, I should probably just order it right now. It combines some of my favorite things, i.e. illustration (hence my not-creepy collection of children's books), historical information that's actually interesting, and drankz. Home-run hit right here.

 3. 'A Softer World' Magnet Set, $16 + shipping, topatoco.com

First off, if you don't read A Softer World, then you should probably correct that situation, and then you'll also know why this magnet set is ingenius. Do you know how much fun I would have putting my own pictures in the frame and constructing weird sentences (that will no-doubt include "zombie"...I somewhat famously go apeshit for zombies)? Here is the product description, which I strongly approve of: Put your own photos in, carefully select the words to accompany them. Ruin your relationships or make people unexpectedly fall in love with you! Heck, use pictures of Doctor Who, or Joseph Dreamboat-Levitt. What do we care? We're not the boss of you. Express yourself, there's not much time left! 

4. Posters, $-however much they cost I'm not looking this up, interwebzsomewhere (amazon?)

I have wanted a Little Miss Sunshine poster for about two years now. The pop of yellow would look great on my walls, I love the movie, and just look how fun of a poster it is? The running to get in the van? Come on. 

I also very much need an Arcade Fire poster, and I am particularly fond of the Neon Bible design. If my soul could produce music--I am talking about music to capture the very essence of my being--it would sound something like Arcade Fire. I am not a crazy person, but I have always been convinced that now and again in your life you hear music that sounds precisely like what you'd want your music to sound like if you were only talented and blessed enough in life to be able to make your own music. The last band I felt this about was the Japanese band Asian Kung-Fu Generation, and that was in 2008 maybe, I'm not sure. Oh, and if you are one of those people who actually has the ability to create the music of your soul, I have to kindly ask you to go screw yourself, because that's just not fair. Unless you are Arcade Fire, in which case my soul thanks you for the good work that you do.

5. Espresso Machine!!, $ depends on level of fanciness, but methinks the cheapest is $150, nespresso.com

I. Love. Espresso. I love it because, like me!!, cups of espresso are tiny and adorable but strong and get the job done :P. I'm sorry, that was uncalled for, I hate myself a little bit for having said that. Anyway, America does not love espresso. You understand now, why I can't stay here. (To be fair, Germany is equally bad as the US in their love for filter coffee. Disgusting.)

All I want is an automatic espresso machine that uses convenient capsules (like the Keurig coffee machine at home) so that I can have a wonderful cup of espresso erryday. But if I order this thing I'd have to get the capsules delivered, since stores don't generally carry them :( and I'm not really into that idea. But if I wanted an espresso machine it would have to be this capsule-using kind, because look, I like espresso, but I don't have the patience or desire to figure out how to manually brew my own. I once looked into what kind of beans and what sort of machine I'd have to get, and it just seemed like a hassle. In short, I'm a little conflicted but I still really want a nespresso machine.

This concludes the 10 minutes of selfish thought I allow myself every once in a blue moon  day half hour or so.

NYC adventures and London flashbacks

Darlings, I am beat. I don't even recall what I did with most of my day, but I am beat. Oh God. Realization that part of what I did was watch no less than three episodes of Glee that were on demand. Glee is just one of those things I've resigned to not like because it's kind of annoying and enjoys popularity. Much like the stance I took on myspace for years. Haters gonna hate, right? I don't know, I just like to put up a bit of a fight before digging into a giant slice of pop culture. The principle of the thing.

But mostly the show is just so far-fetched (I'm sorry, does the wheel chair kid always have to dance?) and I hate when it gets all cheesy after school special-y, with such themes as Be Yourself! and Bullying Isn't Cool, You Guys! And the romance triangles and quadrangles... whatever. The show does have good moments, and it is, unfortunately, kind of addicting. The fact of the matter was, I exhausted all of my other On Demand options (watched all of the episodes of Perfect Couples and I really am liking it, I have to say).

Anyway, that was my Gleetastic morning. I'm sick with a cold, by the way. It started on Friday... mum and I were actually in NYC that day, dropping stuff off at the Japanese embassy. We took the subway and didn't get lost or anything, ha-ha. We're both really bad at navigating New York. Werqing the U-Bahn in Berlin and Vienna? Piece of cake. So straightforward. But on my home turf, more or less, I am helpless. It's the turnstiles and junk (which I didn't see in Germany) that makes all the difference, I think. Plus Berlin and Vienna are Cities, but New York is a CITY. It's massive.

My super legit paperwork-visa-business will be available on Wednesday, so I'll have to head back there. I must take that opportunity to do Something Worthwhile, you know? MoMa is in the area and, I am ashamed to say this, I've never been. Actually, I'm not that ashamed. When I think modern art I think of total and utter bullshit. But hey, I got something out of the Tate Modern in London, didn't I? Although there was deffo some bullshit in there too.

Friday what we did after the Embassy was look around Saks Fifth Avenue. I've never been to any of those big 'ol department stores in NYC either (travesty!). I have only--quite tragically, really--seen them from the outside, when they're all closed, gazing at their stunning window displays at Christmastime. Usually while munching on some cashews purchased from a Nuts4Nuts vendor. So it was pretty neat to be inside one... it reminded me of Harrods, only nowhere near as cool. Harrods is just a totally boss place. If I lived in London... Oh Jesus. Seriously.

Because at Harrods it's not just clothes and shoes and Hermès scarves (by the way, as a scarves fiend it is a personal goal to get my hands on one of those damn hundreds-of-dollars silk scarves) but there are whole rooms, gorgeous rooms, devoted to Tea and Coffee or like, Sweets, and it's utterly delightful. I nearly died from the visual smorgasbord. So while I cannot and possibly may never be able to go to Harrods and just pick up a Herve Leger dress, I am able to window shop and treat myself to their crème brûlée, and that is what's most important. Little luxuries can be just as sweet as big luxuries, you know. That's why whenever I go to Wegmans (j'adore Wegmans) I am sure to buy a small round dessert with lots of berries on it. Mmm. Can someone take me to Wegmans tomorrow? And also TJMaxx or Marshall's, as I'm in a designer shoppin' mood and I don't wanna pay retail. (Digression: they had this adorbs red Kate Spade crossbody bag with a tassel at TJMaxx last time, I just had to buy it. It made me kind of deliriously happy).

Flashback time!

You just stare at that beautiful building and know it's a Shopping Establishment.

Uhhhhhh. Right, so Saks. Yeah, I felt kind of poor wandering around there. Not as poor as when I visited Rodeo Drive, but still pretty much poor. But really, who pays retail ever? Who does that? Today at the mall (yes, I accompanied my mother to the mall, even though I'm sick and miserable. But not as sick and miserable as I was yesterday) I managed to get a pair of gray skinny jeans from American Eagle for $13, which I'm counting as proof of how opposed I am to buying stuff that isn't on sale. 


This post is getting a bit lengthy so I think I'll continue it in another, sooner or later. Sooner preferably but it's nearly one ante meridian. I'm sleepy, ya know.