The past four months: a recap

"So Shan, what's it been like having a semester off?" people ask me. And I say "Weird as SHIAT, dawg."

No, I don't say that. But you know what, it has been a weirdo mixed bag indeed, and given that I leave for BERLIN in a mere TWO WEEKS I feel I should verbosely explain it all. Well, all in all, I've coped fairly well. I don't remember what it's like to do work AT ALL, but that's just training for the real world anyway, right? Haaaaaaa. But really, I don't feel the least bit like a student, which is kind of odd, and  in various ways I miss it. |:

I missed a lot of dope funtimes with my friends, although visiting 'em was nice. I miss weird things like the feeling of taking notes in class with a blue pen on smooth lined paper. Aw man, everything Rutgers feels far-away like a dream. Going to "work" at the tutor center. Fighting the urge to sleep in the tutor center. Caffeine highs from choco-caramel frappe concoctions from Gerlanda's.

At home, with no papers and exams, there's no stress. But where's the sense of achievement?

And when I visit Rutgers it feels like I'm an outsider again. I feel sort of the way I did when I was a senior in high school scoping everything out for the first time.

I don't know if it bums me out per se... I will say that a week or two after it was decided I wouldn't go to Japan, I was in a pretty pitiful mental state. Of course, I still don't know if not going was the right decision. And I suppose I never will. I do think that the decision had/will continue to have a profound impact on my life and my future. I don't know if I'll continue to learn Japanese again... and honestly, I don't know if I want to.

Did I give up Japan because I was frightened of nuclear fallout and cancerous sushi, or because I was frightened of changing my life? I was taking the easy way out because frankly, I'd already lost a lot of motivation to keep learning the language. And, since it was already March, I'd simply forgotten a ton of Japanese.


I love Asian Studies, and I'm good at it. Chinese Cinema to Japanese Women Writers, Asian economy, history, philosophy, whatever. But I never felt any more than "better than the average student" at Japanese language. I got good grades but I didn't really feel like I was learning... Maybe all I needed was to just go there, go to Japan. Even though I was caring much less, and was perhaps discouraged with my progress ('cause it's just a disgustingly hard language. All the characters to memorize, and the homophones drove me crazy)--especially compared to German (which with I have a much longer history, and one of much success). Damn it, if I had gone, how in love with the Japanese language and people and atmosphere would I be right now?

But I didn't go. And God only knows if I chickened out or if I made a good, rational decision about my safety.

But life marches right along! And so far in 2011 I've experienced a really interesting array of things.

Like, in January I had my week long externship in the international students dept. at the community college. I learned that I would be totally awesome at a menial desk job, which is not really something to be proud of, but whatever. I make kickass flyers.

I learned that I am capable of sticking to a pescetarian diet for as long as 2-3 weeks, and that doing so will make me feel kind of self-righteous and healthier, but I won't lose any weight, and eventually I'll realize that I'm only doing it to prove that I can, and because I'm friggin bored, on account of not having any classes. **So yes, I did go back to eating meat, and especially after I realized I was going back to Germany, I accepted this as necessary and Only The Proper Thing To Do. But I gave pescetarianism an honest try and I get points for that!

I learned that I can navigate New York City after all and that gives me hope that someday I can be an awesome NYCity-slickin' laday.

I watched MAD AMOUNTS of The Big Bang Theory and Parks and Recreation and other shows. And tons of movies. Wait, should this be on the list of achievements?

I got to go to Los Angeles, North Carolina and, um, Ireland. So that's pretty cool.

I want to go to there (again)

Except, instead of wine (per the picture), I will have a mojito. And then I will have the very best nap of my life.

J.Crew catalogs are my porn

So--because I only think really deep thoughts--in writing my last post I realized that J.Crew catalogs are basically my porn. |: Whereas someone might ogle shirtless Abercrombie and Fitch models, I'd be the chick who wallpapers her wall with clippings of dudes fully clothed and wearing chinos. And like, I used to go totally ape shit over sweater vests. What am I, a gay man?

Many ladies have low expectations of the way their men dress. Straight dudes can't dress themselves, they say, just accept it. And to that I say no. Damn it, I refuse.

Basically the men in J.Crew catalogs are wearing such clothes that say "I am a capable grown-ass man with a job." That's what's up.

This is Robert Redford in Out of Africa. Look at him. Are those chinos? Men, you can look like Robert Redford RIGHT NOW, JUST GO TO J.CREW.

I'll break this down: you need to look like you are competent in the workplace OR, in the case of Redford here, like you are a *#$&ing pilot/explorer/badass.
Two acceptable looks, ok? Again:

PART TIME PROFESSOR OF ARCHEOLOGY, FULL TIME BADASS
as demonstrated by Harrison Ford

AFFABLE GEEK WITH DESK JOB BUT WHO IS NICE, RELIABLE AND NOT JACKASS

as demonstrated by Joseph Gordon-Levitt

As a final piece of advice I recommend plaid/checkered button-down shirts for any and all males.

When I get married someday and my friends throw me a bachelorette party I will be both pissed off and disappointed if they hire a stripper, and not some guy who will get paid to actually put on a plaid shirt slowly. For the duration of the night I will call him "Ben." And I will tuck one dollar bills into his breast pocket.

thursday lineup mancandy

So I've already established that television is basically my lifeblood. Whatever. I'm not sad. But tonight actually tired me out, watching Community, Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, Parks and Recreation and The Office (haven't watched The Office in ages, but I had to watch the Michael Scott peacing out ep, right?). I wish I could just have a show I like on every night of the week, but noooo. **Though Wednesdays is Modern Family. And Tuesdays is Biggest Loser. Don't look at me like that, I said I'm not sad. And dudes, next week Tim Gunn gives the contestants makeovers. So dope.

Anyway I think there's something hormonally weird going on with me right now because I was diggin' on some fictional characters pretty hard. I'm going to talk about it because it's nearly 2AM and I'm feeling kind of punchy and whatever.

For starters, I was all about Sheldon Cooper tonight. He was just pure irresistible adorableness. I repeat, pure and adorable. When Sheldon isn't being a pompous ass he's just so effing sweet. And you know what, the character of Sheldon, this nerdy, romantically inexperienced guy, totes hearkens back to like, the bygone days of middle school crushes. And I like that. In other words I'm saying thanks, TBBT, for letting me revisit middle school without feeling like a creeper.

Oh, please note that while I say things like "adorable" and "sweet", make no mistake, I do mean that in a "if Sheldon Cooper was a real person, I'd tap that" way. Okay, "tap" in this instance meaning I'd steal a chaste kiss and then watch him stare at me quizzically. Bow chica bow wowww.

God, I love nerds. They are the best.

Neeeeext up, from my new favorite show, Parks and Rec, Ben Wyatt.

The storyline with him and Leslie is pretty cute so far. Nothing like some good will they or won't they they totally obviously will is that a real question? action.

He is a no-brainer for me because Ben is the number one dude name I am into. Look, I don't know why. I just accept it. Although I think there was a musical did at the local theater, back in 3rd grade or some nonsense, and I had a demi-crush on some kid also in the musical, named Ben. I'm halfway sure about this. So there's a thought.

Moreover dude's got some luscious brunette hair, and they put him in skinny ties and a vast array of checkered shirts. Like he's in a friggin J.Crew catalog. That combination is something like stabbing my Achilles's heel with a shard of kryptonite.

I have saved the best for last.

Ron $#*&ing Swanson.

Soulful blue eyes. Power stache.

Hates enthusiasm and overachievers.

Loves steak.

Hopeless romantic.

Moonlights as sensual saxophonist "Duke Silver."



As I said, I'm pretty sure there's something wrong with me.

Ireland

If you were all like "Shan. Is Ireland as boss as I think it is?" I would be all "Duh. IRELAND is an acronym for "Incredibly Resplendent Elfin-Like Alcoholic Narnia Dream."

Details, per usual, will happen when I very well feel like it :D